Update on school for Kate

I didn't blog the beginning so I'm not sure "update" really is appropriate. I found out during parent teacher conferences that my second child was shutting down in school and doing nothing. She was doodling, playing, but not working... nooooooooo. It's frustrating as a parent to see a kid not even try.

Kate's always had a very low frustration thresh hold. She's super easily frustrated and she hates not being perfect. School work, well if she wasn't guaranteed to get it perfect the first time, she wasn't even going to try. This desire for perfection showed up in everything she tried to do. If she wouldn't do it right she was instantly frustrated. She also doesn't cope well with correction.

Funny Kate story. My dad died when Kate was twenty months old. I took Kate back to Vermont for the funeral. A group of us were gathered in my mom's living room discussing the services for the next day. I mentioned to my mom that I needed to remember to not wear mascara. My mom shot me a look and said, oh yeah, that's right, no mascara!

Then my poor SIL, no children, never planned on having any said And no mascara for Kate either.

Kate heard the word no and she heard her name and threw herself on the floor screaming. My poor SIL looked at her while saying. Kate, you can have mascara, honest! She just didn't know what to do, lol.

So back to schoolwork. I was frustrated that parent teacher conference was the first I heard about Kate not doing her work. Apparently this had been going on for a month. However, one battle at a time. There was an assignment that Kate was suppose to work on for the month, she didn't do hardly any of it. I got permission from her teacher to redo it and give it to her in two weeks. I then made arrangements for Kate's teacher to send a daily note home to find out how she did. She's getting rewarded for good notes. I've done food a few times, cookies, she likes cookies but food is an awful reward. I really don't like doing it.

St. Patricks day I let her choose dinner and cook it as long as she had a good note. She made green pancakes and was SO proud of herself! My stove has never been such a mess. *laugh*

We've also used Barbie movies for long term goals and rewards. So far we've done a whole week of notes for a movie. Kent would like to do two weeks but I think that's to far in the future. I don't want her to shut down because she thinks a goal is insurmountable.

I talked with her teacher yesterday and she said she's doing better.

I don't think her teacher is a bad teacher as much as I think her teacher and Kate just aren't a very good fit together. Kate's teacher is super nice but Kate wants her hand held while her teacher is very much into independent learning and thinking. Kate actually would excel if she was home schooled. She thrives one on one. Unfortunately that's not possible. With the little boys I can't focus all my time and energy on one kid during the day so we're stuck with doing the best we can with what we've got.