Mostly because my kid was throwing things at the therapist.
And the kid was doing so well.
The kid has been helping in the decision making process for weekly "homework." It's all up to the kid, it's no one else's responsibility, I don't even know what it is or when it's done. Apparently today there was a disagreement on how many times the kid was suppose to do the assignment. The kid swore it was only twice but the therapist had written down the number three.
The kid closed down. Declared, that if anyone had made a mistake, it was the therapist. Certainly not the child. Then the kid announced a desire to chuck a shoe at the therapist and wisely opted for pillows instead. Some blankets were thrown too.
The therapist left the room, decided that wasn't such a good idea (there's a lock on the door) and had the kid leave the room and had me come in so we could talk. She related what had happened, we talked about what to do and I went back to the waiting room to let the kid know, there was a mess to be cleaned up and that kid was the one cleaning it.
My dear child announced, there was no way THAT was going to happen, so I sat down, said that was okay, I had my book, there was plenty of time and I read for a bit.
Maybe five minutes.
Kiddo stormed up, went back, cleaned up the mess and stormed out. We were done for the day.
Obviously there is a reason this child is getting help. Overall, things are better. This kid is happier, is doing better with friends, with siblings, has figured out how to better problem solve in everyday life, not to mention doesn't rage nearly as often or as violently. There is good coming from counseling.
It's just taking some time.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Three Good Things
I haven't posted a lot of stuff the past few months. Some is embarrassing. Some, I don't know how to express myself without causing problems because I'm bound to offend *vague waving of hands* somebody.
So here's my neutral, feel good post. Three good qualities of each of my children because I need to write it and someday, they just might need to read what their mother thought of their potential while they were still children.
Jane
1. My dad made the comment when Jane was three that she was the most cheerful child he'd ever met and that still holds true. If ever there was a ray of sunshine, that smiles at the drop of a hat and finds joy in the littlest things, it's my Jane. She's always been happy and that is a gift from God. How many of us can find happiness just in being. My Jane can. I hope she can hold onto that as she continues to grow.
2. She loves unconditionally. It's the same beautiful quality my brother Malcolm has. It doesn't matter who the person is, what their interest are, if they're a jock or a beauty queen, a nerd or a brain, Jane loves them all. I remember when she had a falling out with the neighbor, this girl had decided that Jane wasn't "cool" enough to hang with and I told this girl that someday she'd realize what a mistake she'd made because although she wasn't "cool", she's real and when it comes to friends, you want the real ones, the ones that are there, no. matter. what. That's the kind of friend Jane is and it's because of this beautiful unconditional love. It translates into a person that doesn't judge. I really think it's one of her best qualities.
3. From the day she was bitty, she's always been generous. There's different kind of generous, there are those that are generous with their time or those that are generous of their belongings or even those that are generous with their talents. Jane, is a bit of all of that. When she was a tot, she'd shove her half eaten cracker in your mouth. As much as I didn't appreciate saliva soaked snacks, this inner need to share did give me great delight and she's kept that as she's grown.
Christmas this last year was fantastic as she chose to shop for everyone on her own. The amount of thought that she put into each present, it was clear she didn't buy merely out of an obligation because her parents told her too. She had obviously, carefully handpicked each item. Not only that, but she carefully picked out presents for all three birthdays that are the week of Christmas. We were and are so proud of her. Think of what kind of world it would be if everyone immediately thought of the person next to them and just tried to make them smile. What kind of world would it be? So generosity. A quality I admire in my oldest.
Kate
1. Kate is tough. It's rather funny to type out because Kate's my meltdown child. "My arm is itching" (meltdown) I have a hangnail (meltdown) I can't figure out my math homework (then the world ends). But seriously, when it counts, when it really counts, that child digs in her heels and plows forward like nobody's business. It's truly amazing and she has only just begun to realize that she's much tougher then she ever imagined.
You can really see her digging in her heals in her school work, which brings me round to number two.
2. I have never seen anyone put as much effort into school as Kate. You have to understand that Kate has a severe learning disability and it's been a battle to figure out how to help her learn. With a big, in your face to her learning disability, Kate has poured herself into schoolwork with a tenacity that is awe inspiring. The child, in her main stream classes pulls A's and B's. Folks, Kate has trouble reading which means every academic class is a major challenge for her. Talk about digging in your heals.
3. Kate is my natural mother. From birth, she's mothered others. When the twins were born, she stole them, so she could mother. She naturally tries to help the littler people problem solve. She kisses owies without flinching. Her feelings are hurt if someone goes to the higher authority (me or dad) but she still puts herself out there and tries to help the littler ones, in whatever way possible. I love this about Kate and I know, from a blessing she was given that she will be a mother and raise her own children. I do believe she has the tools to do a very fine job, when the time comes.
Ean
1. Ean is a person of logic. When he understands the logistics of something, nothing will sway him away from an innate truth. You can't fool him, you can't sway him, all he wants are facts and thank you very much, he'll draw the natural conclusion. After experiencing two emotional females, it's truly a different world to have this kid that is basically, the facts, just give me the facts. Sometimes it's downright refreshing. *smile*
2. This kid is scary smart. He eats knowledge for breakfast, usually coming back for seconds. He loves to learn. Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean he loves school. School is a challenge for various reasons, but he loves to learn. For instance, it's now Wednesday, three days after Easter. For Easter, Ean received a book, aimed towards children but still pretty darn detailed on the human body. He finished it yesterday. All eighty pages of text and diagrams but not only did he finish reading the book, but he understands what he's read. Go ahead, ask my eight year old what the lymphatic system does. I dare you.
3. He's trying to be a better person. Words can't describe how much I admire and appreciate his willingness to recognize that his way wasn't working (in life, in school, at home) and he's using new skills to find better ways to problem solve. How many of us simply plow forward using the same faulty techniques that have failed us time and again in the past. It's been hard but my son is not only trying to be a better person, he's succeeding. His big triumph three weeks ago was walking away from a threatening situation and going to his teacher. instead of staying in a potential altercation. I don't think words can describe how huge this was for him. Talk about my mother's heart swelling with joy for him. You go son!
Greg
1. Often called my "velcro child", Greg is my lover. Oh does that kid love deeply and fully. He loves unconditionally, fully, with devotion. While I fear for his heart breaking as he grows and the future point he'll be in relationships, I have no doubt that when he finds someone worthy of his love and devotion, that lucky woman will be treated like a queen.
2. Greg enjoys helping. He'll help his dad fix the dishwasher. He'll help me bake cookies. This is the child that will throw himself into something, just to make the load lighter for whatever sibling was given the job.
3. Greg never lies. Well okay, just to be clear, Greg only lies when protecting his identical twin but other then that, he is the most truthful child I've ever met.
David
1. This is our active kid. It's funny, he's the one that had so much trouble with muscle development from babyhood to toddler hood. Yet he loves physical activity. Loves to walk, loves to bike, loves to play outside. It's a wonderful thing to see.
2. Dave is the kids most willing to try new things. He'll eat whatever veggie you throw at him. He likes his daddy's hot sauce on his Mexican Enchiladas. Then, after trying something and deciding that he likes it, he'll cheerfully have three helpings while ignoring the moans and groans from the picky *cough* Kate, Ean *cough* eaters in the house.
3. Dave is the most natural reader in the house. The thing that makes him a natural reader, isn't really his reading ability, because in first grade, the middle child was a better reader but it's the enthusiasm he's thrown into reading! He tackles words like a pro wrestler, without fear, diving in and sounding it out. When he fails, he just keeps plowing forward, without hesitation. It's pretty darn cool
So there you have it, three good things about all five of my children. I could easily list more but this post is long enough, not to mention, I have laundry to fold.
So here's my neutral, feel good post. Three good qualities of each of my children because I need to write it and someday, they just might need to read what their mother thought of their potential while they were still children.
Jane
1. My dad made the comment when Jane was three that she was the most cheerful child he'd ever met and that still holds true. If ever there was a ray of sunshine, that smiles at the drop of a hat and finds joy in the littlest things, it's my Jane. She's always been happy and that is a gift from God. How many of us can find happiness just in being. My Jane can. I hope she can hold onto that as she continues to grow.
2. She loves unconditionally. It's the same beautiful quality my brother Malcolm has. It doesn't matter who the person is, what their interest are, if they're a jock or a beauty queen, a nerd or a brain, Jane loves them all. I remember when she had a falling out with the neighbor, this girl had decided that Jane wasn't "cool" enough to hang with and I told this girl that someday she'd realize what a mistake she'd made because although she wasn't "cool", she's real and when it comes to friends, you want the real ones, the ones that are there, no. matter. what. That's the kind of friend Jane is and it's because of this beautiful unconditional love. It translates into a person that doesn't judge. I really think it's one of her best qualities.
3. From the day she was bitty, she's always been generous. There's different kind of generous, there are those that are generous with their time or those that are generous of their belongings or even those that are generous with their talents. Jane, is a bit of all of that. When she was a tot, she'd shove her half eaten cracker in your mouth. As much as I didn't appreciate saliva soaked snacks, this inner need to share did give me great delight and she's kept that as she's grown.
Christmas this last year was fantastic as she chose to shop for everyone on her own. The amount of thought that she put into each present, it was clear she didn't buy merely out of an obligation because her parents told her too. She had obviously, carefully handpicked each item. Not only that, but she carefully picked out presents for all three birthdays that are the week of Christmas. We were and are so proud of her. Think of what kind of world it would be if everyone immediately thought of the person next to them and just tried to make them smile. What kind of world would it be? So generosity. A quality I admire in my oldest.
Kate
1. Kate is tough. It's rather funny to type out because Kate's my meltdown child. "My arm is itching" (meltdown) I have a hangnail (meltdown) I can't figure out my math homework (then the world ends). But seriously, when it counts, when it really counts, that child digs in her heels and plows forward like nobody's business. It's truly amazing and she has only just begun to realize that she's much tougher then she ever imagined.
You can really see her digging in her heals in her school work, which brings me round to number two.
2. I have never seen anyone put as much effort into school as Kate. You have to understand that Kate has a severe learning disability and it's been a battle to figure out how to help her learn. With a big, in your face to her learning disability, Kate has poured herself into schoolwork with a tenacity that is awe inspiring. The child, in her main stream classes pulls A's and B's. Folks, Kate has trouble reading which means every academic class is a major challenge for her. Talk about digging in your heals.
3. Kate is my natural mother. From birth, she's mothered others. When the twins were born, she stole them, so she could mother. She naturally tries to help the littler people problem solve. She kisses owies without flinching. Her feelings are hurt if someone goes to the higher authority (me or dad) but she still puts herself out there and tries to help the littler ones, in whatever way possible. I love this about Kate and I know, from a blessing she was given that she will be a mother and raise her own children. I do believe she has the tools to do a very fine job, when the time comes.
Ean
1. Ean is a person of logic. When he understands the logistics of something, nothing will sway him away from an innate truth. You can't fool him, you can't sway him, all he wants are facts and thank you very much, he'll draw the natural conclusion. After experiencing two emotional females, it's truly a different world to have this kid that is basically, the facts, just give me the facts. Sometimes it's downright refreshing. *smile*
2. This kid is scary smart. He eats knowledge for breakfast, usually coming back for seconds. He loves to learn. Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean he loves school. School is a challenge for various reasons, but he loves to learn. For instance, it's now Wednesday, three days after Easter. For Easter, Ean received a book, aimed towards children but still pretty darn detailed on the human body. He finished it yesterday. All eighty pages of text and diagrams but not only did he finish reading the book, but he understands what he's read. Go ahead, ask my eight year old what the lymphatic system does. I dare you.
3. He's trying to be a better person. Words can't describe how much I admire and appreciate his willingness to recognize that his way wasn't working (in life, in school, at home) and he's using new skills to find better ways to problem solve. How many of us simply plow forward using the same faulty techniques that have failed us time and again in the past. It's been hard but my son is not only trying to be a better person, he's succeeding. His big triumph three weeks ago was walking away from a threatening situation and going to his teacher. instead of staying in a potential altercation. I don't think words can describe how huge this was for him. Talk about my mother's heart swelling with joy for him. You go son!
Greg
1. Often called my "velcro child", Greg is my lover. Oh does that kid love deeply and fully. He loves unconditionally, fully, with devotion. While I fear for his heart breaking as he grows and the future point he'll be in relationships, I have no doubt that when he finds someone worthy of his love and devotion, that lucky woman will be treated like a queen.
2. Greg enjoys helping. He'll help his dad fix the dishwasher. He'll help me bake cookies. This is the child that will throw himself into something, just to make the load lighter for whatever sibling was given the job.
3. Greg never lies. Well okay, just to be clear, Greg only lies when protecting his identical twin but other then that, he is the most truthful child I've ever met.
David
1. This is our active kid. It's funny, he's the one that had so much trouble with muscle development from babyhood to toddler hood. Yet he loves physical activity. Loves to walk, loves to bike, loves to play outside. It's a wonderful thing to see.
2. Dave is the kids most willing to try new things. He'll eat whatever veggie you throw at him. He likes his daddy's hot sauce on his Mexican Enchiladas. Then, after trying something and deciding that he likes it, he'll cheerfully have three helpings while ignoring the moans and groans from the picky *cough* Kate, Ean *cough* eaters in the house.
3. Dave is the most natural reader in the house. The thing that makes him a natural reader, isn't really his reading ability, because in first grade, the middle child was a better reader but it's the enthusiasm he's thrown into reading! He tackles words like a pro wrestler, without fear, diving in and sounding it out. When he fails, he just keeps plowing forward, without hesitation. It's pretty darn cool
So there you have it, three good things about all five of my children. I could easily list more but this post is long enough, not to mention, I have laundry to fold.
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