I Love a Little Irony

It's been about a month since I really talked about my dear middle boy's anger struggles so it's high time for an update.

He's really trying to do his part and making an active effort at school, which is such a relief for me as a mother.  Two months into school and a good dozen, impromptu conferences after school concerning troubling behavior has really added to my stress.  I'm talking, weepy, don't ask me how I'm doing or I'll completely have a meltdown in front of you, type of stress.

Of course meltdowns are out of frustration on how to help him, on what we can do differently and the plain fact that when our child is out of control, I feel like a complete failure as a mother.  I know, that's not true.  I know I've been there night and day for my children, but feelings are irrational and unable to reason.

Thankfully my husband is an incredible support and has had the opportunity to be right there during some of those meetings, to throw in his insight and ideas to give our son something to work for.

And thus the smiley system was invented. 

We started out with an opportunity to earn a smiley each day with one smiley equaling an hour of computer time, which could be saved or used daily, the kid was completely in control.  A week of smileys meant computer time on Sunday.  Something to really work for.

It quickly became clear that even though the goal to behave for one day wasn't a huge goal, it was still to much.  So we divided the day into halves, with the potential of earning two smileys a day.  Each smile, which is just drawn on a post-it by his teacher, equals a half hour of computer time.  He hasn't ever made it a whole week with ten smiles but he's overall doing so much better then the first of the year.  Making an effort to not be mean to other people, is huge for him.

He's also working really hard in counseling to find ways to better cope with his anger.

So I decided it was time for a big reward. 

Originally, I planned on a big reward after weeks of smiles with not a frown in sight but that clearly isn't reasonable for this kid.  He is impulsive and his effort has to be recognized or he'll figure it just isn't worth while and not even try.

The book fair is this week, so I allowed him to pick a book.  His prize for such an extreme effort.   He really deserves it.

So my child.  What does he choose as an award for keeping his anger in check?  Why a book by National Geographic about bonifide angry birds, of course.

Like I said, I love a little irony.