I really miss "just" being a stay at home mom. I can't work full time, I only work part, sometimes very part time, but my hours in the evening. I'm so tired during the day and my body's schedule is so messed up, when I'm home, I can't go to bed early.
*sigh*
Why am I doing this, what luxuries am I buying? You know the automatic assumption is that if both people are working, it's for the "extras" Well the extras in our house include clothes, you know, fancy K-mart so my kids aren't nekkid clothes. Oh, money for our retirement fund, we are so in trouble there and I HAVE to contribute as much as possible or we'll be working until death. Then there's shoes, the online learning site for the girls, occasionally I decide to cut my wild woman hair and that of course costs money.
I've done everything "right" and we're still in trouble.
Well not trouble trouble. Really I have to pull myself into perspective. I don't think our children feel poor. I don't believe they're are lacking really. Our needs are met! I count blessings daily for food, clothes, being able to pay our bills without having to choose between water and electricity, or mortgage and phone.
Our home actually fits our family. It's a tight fit but the twins share a bedroom and everyone else has their own room. Oh I long for a craft room again. A space of my own because I don't have that and my sewing and crafts are so screwed up right now from kids rifling through everything. I have a dozen quilts scattered now, where they once were all organized. :( I could have picked up any project and just started sewing and now. Well. It's depressing. I don't even know if I'll find all the pieces and that saddens me. Just saddens me.
So perspective is great. It's vital to my happiness, I know this. My mortal side still struggles. My creative self feels stifled. It's calling to come out and I have no place to put it. I use to paint, to create, it's part of my being. And now my energy is spent cleaning toilets.
Part of me wonders if someday will ever come.
I don't have regrets but I do have desires. Human, I believe that makes me. Slightly stressed human.
I could sigh again, but who has the time?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Camping and the Crazy People
This spring Kent has finally bought himself a camp trailer. He's been working on fixing it up, it's older and does need work but he's really enjoyed himself. However we hadn't gone camping in it yet. So Kent decided we should go overnight, a quick trip and really, we've had this thing for months the kids were just itchen to sleep in the thing.
Marja wanted to go out of town, her babysitting job tanked this weekend and she decided to take her kids and just leave however her plans fell through and I invited her along. We gave my mom little choice and let her know she was joining in the fun as well. Kent did chew me out for giving mom a hard time, mentioning that maybe, just maybe, my mom would enjoy a break from us. However when I called, my expressed a desire to go, asking me if I remembered what day Saturday was (my parents anniversary) and said she didn't want to be alone. Just for the record, today, July 3, 2010, my parents would have been married 45 years.
So we had two vehicles, Kent hauling the trailer of course, four adults and eight children and one dog. Because that beast of ours is so darn pitiful we couldn't leave him behind, although we almost did when he ran off right before we were going to leave.
There's a spot on public grounds with free camp sites that's really nice and we decided to check there. We picked a spot, it wasn't the best spot, it was a little tricky to back the trailer into but the kids wanted to get out, we were right by a stream and it was four in the afternoon. Our chances of finding a spot were decreasing rapidly on a holiday weekend.
Kent backed in the trailer, we set up camp. The children had a blast playing in the stream. Kent brought up his BB gun and did target practice with the kids. All the children loved it. Some idget left their old beer and pop cans by the fire so there were lots of targets for the kids to shoot at.
Kent, Marja and Isaiah had their bikes and went biking. Mom, Marja and I went on a walk. Jesse went with EVERYONE and I'm pretty sure he'll sleep for the next 24 hours. The twins played. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, snacked on Pirate's booty and grapes. It was a great evening.
At 9:00, it was getting dark and Isaiah was itching to ride his bike again. Kent said he'd go with him, but he wanted the traffic to die down first. All of a sudden there were a bunch of vehicles on the road right in front of where we were camped. This spot was tricky for Kent to back into and between the 'burb parked four feet in front of the trailer, we were really hidden from the road.
This brunette walks into our camp and loudly says "Okay, what did you guys do with our Tent?"
We had no idea WHAT she was talking about. Of course immediately we were on edge because her tone was very accusatory. She was clearly blaming us for stealing and/or hiding her tent. She says (very agitated) that they had put a tent, some camp chairs and a cooler at that sight on Tuesday (oh HELLO, it's Friday), to save a spot on the holiday weekend.
Wait.
So you left your tent for four days and three nights, so no. one. else. can use this FREE, PUBLIC ACCESS LAND. Well we hadn't seen it and at nine at night, we sure as heck weren't leaving because they called DIBS.
When I reached the spot where these folks were hashing it out with Kent, this blond, extremely upset comments that surely we knew someone planned on being there because of the firewood stacked at the campsite. Well yes, we had noticed but people leave firewood all the time. WE leave firewood if there's any left over and sometimes it's a little and sometimes it's a lot. It means nothing. She started to argue.
This muscle head, obviously lifts weights asked if he could as least get his wood. We told him sure, he was welcome to! The brunette that first accused us of messing with her tent meanwhile searched our camp to see if her tent was tossed in the brush. We could hear the guy throwing the wood in his truck. I think if there weren't children there he may have gotten violent. Marja thought he looked high, I really don't know.
These people had two blond girls, about ten and seven I think that were walking around obviously not understanding what was going on.
They finally pulled out after all the wood was picked up and went up the road where they sat quite a while, apparently they found their tent up there. Our best guess, someone figured out they weren't they, undid their tent and pitched it farther up so they could camp. I'm pretty sure they thought we not only had thrown the tent away but were lying about it. It was obvious from the accusations they assumed the worst in people.
Later that night Kent and I hid everything in the brush and farther into the camp just in case that man came back looking for a little payback. It was a good day to have Jesse with us. A 100 pound dog a good deterrent for someone wanting to cause problems.
I felt bad for the kids. It was obvious since they were pulling in at 9:00 pm at night they planned on putting those kids to bed and booze it up.
Even though we had a late start, our children had a solid five hours of play play play. Oh they had so much fun!
So that was camping. Thankfully that one blip was the only shadow on an otherwise perfect night. Perfect if you don't count all the pills I had to take to keep my hayfever under control.
Marja wanted to go out of town, her babysitting job tanked this weekend and she decided to take her kids and just leave however her plans fell through and I invited her along. We gave my mom little choice and let her know she was joining in the fun as well. Kent did chew me out for giving mom a hard time, mentioning that maybe, just maybe, my mom would enjoy a break from us. However when I called, my expressed a desire to go, asking me if I remembered what day Saturday was (my parents anniversary) and said she didn't want to be alone. Just for the record, today, July 3, 2010, my parents would have been married 45 years.
So we had two vehicles, Kent hauling the trailer of course, four adults and eight children and one dog. Because that beast of ours is so darn pitiful we couldn't leave him behind, although we almost did when he ran off right before we were going to leave.
There's a spot on public grounds with free camp sites that's really nice and we decided to check there. We picked a spot, it wasn't the best spot, it was a little tricky to back the trailer into but the kids wanted to get out, we were right by a stream and it was four in the afternoon. Our chances of finding a spot were decreasing rapidly on a holiday weekend.
Kent backed in the trailer, we set up camp. The children had a blast playing in the stream. Kent brought up his BB gun and did target practice with the kids. All the children loved it. Some idget left their old beer and pop cans by the fire so there were lots of targets for the kids to shoot at.
Kent, Marja and Isaiah had their bikes and went biking. Mom, Marja and I went on a walk. Jesse went with EVERYONE and I'm pretty sure he'll sleep for the next 24 hours. The twins played. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, snacked on Pirate's booty and grapes. It was a great evening.
At 9:00, it was getting dark and Isaiah was itching to ride his bike again. Kent said he'd go with him, but he wanted the traffic to die down first. All of a sudden there were a bunch of vehicles on the road right in front of where we were camped. This spot was tricky for Kent to back into and between the 'burb parked four feet in front of the trailer, we were really hidden from the road.
This brunette walks into our camp and loudly says "Okay, what did you guys do with our Tent?"
We had no idea WHAT she was talking about. Of course immediately we were on edge because her tone was very accusatory. She was clearly blaming us for stealing and/or hiding her tent. She says (very agitated) that they had put a tent, some camp chairs and a cooler at that sight on Tuesday (oh HELLO, it's Friday), to save a spot on the holiday weekend.
Wait.
So you left your tent for four days and three nights, so no. one. else. can use this FREE, PUBLIC ACCESS LAND. Well we hadn't seen it and at nine at night, we sure as heck weren't leaving because they called DIBS.
When I reached the spot where these folks were hashing it out with Kent, this blond, extremely upset comments that surely we knew someone planned on being there because of the firewood stacked at the campsite. Well yes, we had noticed but people leave firewood all the time. WE leave firewood if there's any left over and sometimes it's a little and sometimes it's a lot. It means nothing. She started to argue.
This muscle head, obviously lifts weights asked if he could as least get his wood. We told him sure, he was welcome to! The brunette that first accused us of messing with her tent meanwhile searched our camp to see if her tent was tossed in the brush. We could hear the guy throwing the wood in his truck. I think if there weren't children there he may have gotten violent. Marja thought he looked high, I really don't know.
These people had two blond girls, about ten and seven I think that were walking around obviously not understanding what was going on.
They finally pulled out after all the wood was picked up and went up the road where they sat quite a while, apparently they found their tent up there. Our best guess, someone figured out they weren't they, undid their tent and pitched it farther up so they could camp. I'm pretty sure they thought we not only had thrown the tent away but were lying about it. It was obvious from the accusations they assumed the worst in people.
Later that night Kent and I hid everything in the brush and farther into the camp just in case that man came back looking for a little payback. It was a good day to have Jesse with us. A 100 pound dog a good deterrent for someone wanting to cause problems.
I felt bad for the kids. It was obvious since they were pulling in at 9:00 pm at night they planned on putting those kids to bed and booze it up.
Even though we had a late start, our children had a solid five hours of play play play. Oh they had so much fun!
So that was camping. Thankfully that one blip was the only shadow on an otherwise perfect night. Perfect if you don't count all the pills I had to take to keep my hayfever under control.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)