Flooding in Vermont.

What???

The whole state is under water. The words are foreign. Natural disasters happen in other areas but never state wide devastation. Never resulting in deaths, lost homes, bridges, roads, leaving folks stranded. Helpless.

I guess mother nature has had the last laugh. Because it's happened. Already downgraded to "tropical storm" status, Irene has devastated the entire state. Sure, Vermont isn't alone, there's flooding all over New England and the Eastern coast but the flooding in Vermont hits me just a little bit harder.

You see, I'm proud to call myself a Vermonter. Don't ever, and I mean EVER say I'm from Idaho. That'll get you a swift kick, or at least a dirty look.

Born, raised and proud to call myself a Vermonter, my prayers continue for my family and friends that are struggling right now. Thank the Heavens above my extended family is safe. Although my cousin and his family almost lost their home and currently are cut off from Bennington due to the bridge collapsing.

Yes it's that bad.

Makes my personal problems seem trivial.

Vermonters are tough. No one knows that better then a true Vermonter. They will rebuild. They will survive. There is no other choice, and plowing forward is a way of life. There is no state more beautiful, even when ravaged by mother nature.

Yes I'm biased.

Vermont.

My prayers are with you.

Pulling out the Big Guns

Evidence of the ten year old's compulsion to sneak sugar was found under her bed. She's been helping herself to pretty much anything with sugar in the storage room. We "could" lock the storage room again but frankly that's such a pain and the kids are old enough, I shouldn't have to at this point!

So we had a heart to heart with her. Her dad let her know that when we went go to Yellowstone in two weeks, she's already had her pop and will be drinking water. She almost lost it there and shrieked that she didn't even want to go if she couldn't have special drinks.

I called her on it, letting her know that really, she did want to go. To her credit she was able to reign it in and gain control in a manner I've never seen her pull off before. I was quite impressed! A sign of maturity for sure!!

So, we also let Kate know that this was her one and only warning. If there is anymore sneakiness, she will be switching rooms with Ean. You see, Ean is in the room right next to us and we let her know that being trusted was something you earn. If we can't trust her, then we will put her in the room right next to us and put Ean in the basement.

Hopefully the threat alone is enough to help her make better choices. All in all it went very well. Usually discussions like this with Kate end up with her exploding in a glorious sea of anger. She does not like to be corrected!! Egads, she's like me! She gained control to the point she was able to hug and kiss us for bed afterwords.

Maturity?

Looks like it! Being Kate is a struggle, but she's doing it. Maybe even with a little grace.

Update on Jane's Testing

This actually took place last week but August has been Crazy around here, as you can clearly tell by my lack of posting anything past the first week of August!

Better late then never!

They don't categorize ADD anymore. Everything is ADHD with two added letters at the end that specify how the ADHD is manifested. Since Jane doesn't show hyperactivity and she's not consistent with her concentration, her specification (I think it's "os" or "so") says it's non-specific meaning it's not consistently either hyperactivity or concentration but acknowledges she does have a struggle.

Confused?

It gets even more fun. While discussing her results, I mentioned that I wasn't even sure she should get tested because it was hard for me to tell where her learning disability begins and ends. The doctor gave a small laugh and mentioned they had the same problem during testing! It was genuinely hard to read her results because that darn learning disability kept popping up.

It was very interesting to note that Jane struggles with oral instruction. Something I've personally noted since she was two. No surprise there! However with written material, she scored much higher, which seems to contradict the school's finding during her IEP testing last school year.

It was lapses in her work containing written instructions that allowed the psychologist to comfortably give her a diagnosis. It may be ADHD that actually pushed the IEP through. It doesn't matter one way or another because no matter how it's interpreted, she obviously needs help with school. She just can't handle the mainstream classroom without extra help.

Meds may or may not help her. I have yet to discuss her options with her regular doctor, who will do the prescribing. The good news, ADHD meds are fast acting, working precisely the day of and by evening are out of the system. None of that "building up" a dosage level that you have with other meds. This means that we have the option of trying something out and we will know immediately if it's making a difference. If it's not, we just quit after a few days, no big whoop.

My oldest has also been diagnosed with anxiety. Another, no big surprise for mom. I jumped at the chance for her to go to one on one therapy to hopefully help her learn some coping techniques. On the grand anxiety scale, I really don't see meds as an option, it's not even moderately severe but it does hinder her sometimes, mostly manifesting itself as occasional insomnia or the even rarer freak out that she has to be talked down from.

The psychologist sees her needing maybe a few months of weekly appointments for her to learn the tools she needs to handle her anxiety and like the use of ADHD meds, if it's not working, we just stop. There's no long term commitment.

I opted to stay in that office and have her therapy managed by a new PHD that will be working under the psychologist that interpreted her test results. Once again, if it doesn't work, we always have the option of switching offices if that's what we choose.

I'm thinking once I have a copy of her test results I need to photocopy them and march myself down to Jane's school and have them submitted into her personal file with her IEP. You know, just in case I need to argue her IEP down the line.

There's still high school to deal with.

All in all, I'm happy we opted to have her tested. Even though we're not 100% sure on what actions will result from her testing, a clearer picture of her struggles is extremely helpful for me, as her mom, in knowing how to best parent her.

My beautiful girl. My amazing, blond haired, funny, quirky, loving, nurturing, practical joker of a girl.

Testing Day for my Oldest!

I'm so excited to finally get this done for Jane!! This is the ADD testing that we've waited two and a half weeks for. Now we've gotten two calls for cancellations but both have been at incredibly inconvenient times. Hopefully there hasn't been any mix ups because I haven't heard anything yesterday or this morning to confirm her appointment.

I find that odd, since secretaries LOVE to call with reminders. This appointment was also made almost a month in advance.

Jane will be there for three hours. I need entertainment.

MP3 player.
Pocket Sudoku.
Knitting.

Now if I could find a paperback, something to read, I'll be set.

Technically I can leave I guess. There's a sign that says parents may not leave during testing for any child twelve and under and Jane hasn't been twelve been for six whole months. It's probably best I stay anyway. My mom will have the boys, since three hours is way to long for them with Kate as a sitter.

Not to mention when Kate and Ean don't get along at all when I'm not in the room. Heck they don't get along sometimes when I AM in the room.

Speaking of Kate. Kate had two friends over yesterday. This is a brand new thing. This particular group of friends has a history of getting along fine as long as there are only two playing together. Now you can mix up the pairs and have any pair get along fine, but throw in a third girl. Just. Not. Pretty.

However a few times the past month all three have been together and they've done much better overall. Yesterday it was obvious they needed a break, to much togetherness but at least their time together brought forth a fabulous story.

The girls walked in my room, I was escaping all that is red hair here at the Hill house.

I looked at Kate and let her know that she's getting a hair cut Saturday. Her friend Jessica looked and me and announced that she wants her hair cut, shorter then Kate's. Her tone was "Thank. you. very. much." when she made this pronouncement.

I turned to Kate and let her know Tiffany was cutting her hair and then I turned to Jessica and let her know that her mom knew Tiffany even longer then I did. Boy, her mom is amazing and can do it all! (because she knows Tiffany.)

Without missing a beat, Jessica announces "Well, she can't cut hair!" And off she trotted out of my room. I just laid on my bed and laughed. So funny! Jessica also gasped in amazement when she heard an adult say "No thank you" over an offer of banana bread.

I mean, how could anyone refuse banana bread!

Ean had his own funny yesterday. I called my mom to check on Ean. I was doing Policy council business for Head Start and mom had Ean so Jane could watch the twins without hassle. Ean was there long after I came home and I called to check.

Mom "Your son and I having a disagreement."

Me "Why?"

Mom "He wants to stay overnight and he's going home" This last statement was made with her voice away from the mouthpiece, obviously meant for Ean.

Then a singsong voice wafts over from the background... "You SaID, I could stAY, as lONg as I wAnT."

Talk about busting a gut.

So back to testing, I won't actually have any answers for another week and a half. Today's step has to happen before we can get answers, so this is very good! I honestly don't know what they'll find, she could have ADD or she could not. I will rest easier knowing we're doing all we can to help her with school and life in general.

Hey, You're Driving a Piece of JUNK!

In the emptying of the store, there was a slew of shelves that needed dismantling and moving out of the building. We already took the shelves that use to divide Kent's office space and put them up in our garage.

The shelves were built by Kent's dad from old displays. Really a clever idea. The displays were used as sidings and backing with press board as the shelving. There was a huge bunch of shelves left, actually the first one my Father in Law had built and the plan was to dismantle it and take it to my mother's house for her garage.

There isn't quite enough center support for my mother's emergency supplies, so Kent will still need to work them over but it's better then starting from scratch.

We took them apart a week and a half ago. To say they were overbuilt is an understatement. When Kent was unable to muscle some pieces apart and I had to help, you know the bolts were way to tight.

Little did we know that moving the shelves would be the bigger job. We did that Saturday. Now since there were a lot of pieces to be moved, we asked Kent's dad if we could borrow his pick-up. Kent's dad mentioned that there was a problem with the seal around the windshield. We decided to risk it.

Upon arriving at my inlaws, we noticed a pile of rusting metal in the back of the truck. Sometimes Kent's dad has given him metal to recycle so Kent went to check. Nope, that was Kent's dad and he was going to recycle it. Kent was gruffly told to "just work around it" when he asked where he could put it. So the rusty metal was taking a trip around town.

We got in, Kent turned the key and...... yeah, nothing. So I maneuvered the "burb" for jump starting, and with a whole lot of revving that truck finally started. The plan was for both of us to ride in the truck, we quickly switched plans and I drove the "burb", following my husband all over town. Before that happened, Kent discovered the truck was on empty with the gas light on. So our first stop was a gas station. Actually the gas station was the second stop. The first was at the side of the road halfway down the canyon so Kent could take the seal, that was flapping in his line of sight and tuck it under the windshield wipers.

I noticed that Kent had a hard time turning when he looped around at the gas station. Kent didn't even turn the engine off, not trusting that beast he was driving. Once again, hard time turning, really odd driving. I could tell Kent was struggling.

Once we made it to the old store, Kent told me he'd discovered that the truck had been left in four wheel drive. This the last time someone drove it, they went up the hill in the dead of winter and left in four wheel drive. It's August!!

We made it to the store, Kent drove the truck down to the loading bay and we hauled, and hauled, and hauled. Thankfully, even though the day was warm, there was a cool breeze when we were outside. It could have been a lot worse weather wise.

The big moment. Oh yeah baby, time for another jump start.

So there I was, following Kent over to my mother's house. We were almost there. Al...... most......

Oh CRUD!

Stalled at the intersection about four houses away from moms. It was a busy street too. So I pulled over at the same time two ladies jumped out of a little compact to help push. I hollered at Kent

HEY, You're Driving a piece OF JUNK!!!!

See, the women besides me had no way of knowing that this was my husband. Nor could they know that I'd help jump start that pickup two times already.

I saw horrified glances my direction.

I reassured them that it was okay, that was my husband. Kent hollers back that it's his dad's truck. I said, yeah, my father in law's truck. You could tell they felt slightly better when Kent acted like he knew me.

As opposed to me being a good Samaritan that makes a point of insulting the vehicles that I stop to push.

Oh yeah.

So, I had to drive up the street to turn around, to go down my mom's road, to turn around so I could face that darn truck head to head.

Did I mention the pull latch to open the suburban's hood is broken and you have to use pliers to open the hood? So I get the pliers out, decide I'm opening the hood this time, pull the wire, go outside, hit the hood like Kent does with my fist. And then decide that Kent is MORE then welcome to do the rest. I'll stick with starting the "burb".

Finally we get mom her shelves and that truck's battery actually started to hold a charge. Kent only had to hook up the cables and it started before I ever turned the keys on our vehicle. Kent did say that it stalled one more time on the way home but he was able to jam into first and get it going again.

So hopefully mom's new shelves are worth five stalls, four jump starts, two stops for maintenance while driving (the seal and gas) and one really shocking statement from his wife in front of strangers.

I'm sure it was.

Marriage 101

Someone I know wrote down advice for those considering marriage on facebook. Basically he said, if you don't agree on the important stuff, don't get married.

I believe that's really over simplifying marriage and what makes marriage work, so I thought I'd give a stab at writing the thoughts swirling around my head. As always, this is really aimed towards my children.

1. Agreeing on basic stuff can help a marriage, things like religion, family size, where to live etc.. should be discussed before the big question is asked. However, agreeing on the big stuff does not guarantee a good marriage. Just like having major differences doesn't doom a marriage. Mormor as an active, LDS woman stayed married to your grandpa, an atheist until grandpa died. They loved each dearly and had a very good marriage. Actually, they were my example for unconditional love and I'm grateful I had that example.

2. Look carefully at how the person your dating acts towards other people and take note. How do they react to stress, how do they treat family, how do they treat those that have "wronged" them. See, when dating, we all know presentation is everything. So look outside the dating relationship, observe the world around them and keep in mind, they're going to see how you treat your family, how you react to stress, what kind of person you really are. So if you want a quality spouse, ask yourself, what kind of person are you?

3. This leads right to my next point. Don't work on getting married. Work on being a happy, spiritual, quality person. Because when you are the type of person that loves yourself (I'm not talking pride, I'm talking recognizing yourself as a child of God) and you have a strong spiritual foundation, living the Gospel of Jesus Christ in your life, quality people that have the potential to be wonderful spouses will find you.

4. Do not ever delusion yourself into thinking you can change a person. Just as you have your own free will, they have theirs. Along these same lines, please, someone will not magically change for the "better" after marriage. Someone that is verbally abusive won't change after marriage and the stats show, that verbal abuse can easily escalate into physical abuse.

But really, I could list until the end of time, lets get to the crux of the matter. If you're living your life close to God and our Savior Jesus Christ, then you'll know if someone is right for you. I have had both dating extremes. I've had the relationship that was never meant to be, no matter what I did. I felt confused, uneasy, unhappy, whenever thoughts or talk of marriage would come up.

Then I had what happened with the love of my life. Simply speaking, I was completely at peace the moment I met him. As quickly as our relationship went (six weeks from first date until engagement, six weeks from engagement until marriage), this spiritual peace, a calmness that's hard to describe, the complete opposite of that wrong marriage option when I was so torn up inside, I knew Kent was my match and we quickly fell in love.

I know folks that have been in love with marriage rather then the person their marrying. You can usually tell when their eyes light up at all the wedding details and the response when they talk of their spouse pales in comparison.

Let me say, that marriage doesn't guarantee happiness but it doesn't guarantee unhappiness either. Marriage is a partnership where each partner puts everything they can into the happiness of their spouse. See, you're willing to compromise because you love the other person so much and their happiness means everything to you. They should be doing the same in return.

You have to talk every day. You have to pray, spend time, laugh, share jokes, rejoice in being together, every moment you can.

You will make mistakes. Your spouse will see you at your very best, and your absolute worst and still love you. Suppose you thought you lost your complete set of keys in another state and your spouse, without saying a word spends $20 bucks on a completely new set of keys that very day.

And then suppose your "lost" keys magically appear in your purse.

And your spouse doesn't ever bring it up. Doesn't ever tease you because he knows you feel bad. That my friends, shows what a marriage is really made of.

That and a new extra set of keys in the bedroom dresser.

Sometimes I Amaze Myself

Yesterday I amazed myself by my ability to promote negative responses from people. It all started at the park.

You see, my good friend's autistic son is going through puberty and he frequently gets upset, even downright ticked. So after watching his little sister, very politely, ask him three times to stop bugging her and he cheerfully ignored her, I intervened. Actually intervened is really to strong a word. I asked him to respect his sister's words like he'd want her to respect him.

He tore off through the park. I told my friend "Look, autistic ranting."

I mean, lets keep a sense of humor here!

I haven't talked to him since but his mother says they've talked it over and worked through it. I told her right after it happened that she needed to mention that I would have said the same thing to my child and it would have been a whole lot meaner to them.

Apparently the need to upset a friend's child wasn't enough, apparently I needed to upset a family member as well!

This one just tore a bit of me up inside. I am so non-confrontational and I really have an eclectic group of friends on facebook. One that if they chose too could just tear into each left and right because so many are "left" and "right". I mean, friends that are singled, dating, married, all religions, every aspect of the spectrum.

So I usually try to stay away from potential landmines that could cause friction. It doesn't always work but I try because I'm connected to these people for a reason.

Yesterday I gave into temptation and posted a political cartoon. This, while not erupting into a "war" did go into a basically spirited "discussion" between two parties. One party chose to make a few comments that were directly aimed towards Me, personally. And my relationship with this person is such, I usually take a lot of crap from them. I allow far more then I would with anyone else.

Oh they'd deny it.

But I'm wasn't born yesterday and the backhand references towards the government services my children have received and the religion I practice were there.

They are always there.

And I called this person on it. Said to reign it in. And they did, right off my friends list.

I'm embarrassed at how upset I was yesterday. I mean, here's an individual that has judged my parenting, judged my housekeeping, called me lazy and loud, the parent that just yells and orders her children around. Never mind that judgment was made while I had pair of three year olds and a four year old, all with IEP's language delays while I was working custodial late at night up to twenty hours a week.

Judgmental much?

So basically, as much as I love this individual, there has been a lot lacking over the years. Contact only when needed. No give and take in trying to understand each other. Is it wrong that I want more. You sure as heck don't need to agree with me but to so openly be smug and superior. *shaking head*

Maybe it's just as well.

However my door is always open for this person. They know I love them. At least they should.

Velcro On My Hips!

It's enough to drive a person mad!!! I love my children dearly. Let me repeat, I love you all so much it hurts but and this is the H U G E but, there doesn't need to be actual physical pain in my love for you all. It's an EXPRESSION.

I speak to the clingers. The ones that need constant physical contact, whether that be the quick, touch every few seconds. Whether that be the need to sit close to me whenever I sit down. Or even, the need to physically touch me almost every moment of the day.

Kids, this is why mommy is more then willing to send you all to school! So I can have touch free time!!!

Ean had his arms around my waist most of the day. Through the grocery store, around the house, while I was making food. Kate was her usual, slightly insecure self in need of physical reassurance that my love for her is still true. The twins, oh my the twins!

We watched a movie for family home evening. I moved to different spots in the front room several times and all the boys followed me. Kissed me. Draped themselves across my body at different angles all at the same time.

The result? Oh baby, I hurt. My shoulder, my neck, my hip. All pushed out of alignment, pressure at points the body just isn't made for.

Seriously guys (and Kate), enough!!!

I demand my freedom!!

Okay, so not really. But we did have some extremely good quality time with reading for all the boys. That should be enough. At least, that should be more then it apparently was. If I ignored my children all day long, that would be one thing but we spend time together. We cuddle on and off through the day. I'm quick with hugs and kisses. They're not physically neglected!!!

Now if we could just transplant some of their neediness into Jane and take Jane's teenage indifference at being touched, combined with all the kids, it'd be the perfect combination.

In the meantime. I better buy more over the counter pain killers. I think I'll need them.