I've been pretty open about my journey with my two girls as we've navigated the school system, trying to help them get the help they need. This battle continues even with the presence of IEP's (individual education plans) for both girls. IEP's are legally binding documents that schools are required to follow to meet a child's individual needs.
Sometimes this journey hasn't gone so well. Sixth grade for Jane comes to mind. A quick overview, Jane had an IEP until forth grade. She was then released and her elementary school recognized that she couldn't function in the regular classroom. Luckily Idaho has a law in place called an I-plan that allows for school to give children like Jane that tested out of special services but would sink in fully mainstreamed classes, the help they need. The plan was to have her on the I-plan in fifth and sixth and pushing for her to be ready for middle school by seventh.
Several different things happened. Our school district changed the middle school structure to include sixth grade and since I-plans legally have no standing, it's entirely voluntary, we knew that Jane's sixth year, the first sixth graders in middle school, would be a difficult year.
I want to say that Jane's middle school is notorious for not helping students like my daughter but in reality, in our school district, it's all the middle schools. The push to put a bunch of tweens and teens through the system is immense. The classrooms overcrowded and no understanding of Jane's disability existed at this point. She was mainstream with no back up.
Without going into a debate on whether sixth graders belong in middle school or not, lets just say for my daughter, this environment was detrimental.
Here was a kid that had received extra help since the age of four. Her disability was not diagnosed at this point but she had a long school file of documented problems both comprehending and recalling. She had a short attention span, easily distracted and at this point still had problems effectively communicating. I'd like to point out that her ability to communicate has drastically improved but it's still not where it should be.
So it was really throwing this kid to the wolves. Her teachers recognized her problems and we talked to all of them, trying to work with them on how to help Jane. So Kent and I felt like there was a real working relationship with Jane's teacher. Then the school comes out that in their haste to make this transition to middle school, they actually were not fulfilling Idaho law on how much continuous focus is on the Language Arts. They switched all the sixth grade schedules making our established working relationships with Jane's teachers, now useless.
It was frustrating for us, for Jane's new teachers and especially frustrating for Jane.
Thankfully the state has changed how they do testing so that both my girls, former IEP kids, could be diagnosed as learning disabled. Finally a door was opened to legally allow, not only my daughters, but others in similar situations to receive help.
My biggest problem right now that the girls are diagnosed and have IEPs is keeping the exact nature of their disabilities separate.
Kate's a little easier to explain. Kate scores really low in something called "active learning". It's the learning we do when a teacher is standing in front of the room, having you open your book and letting you know what the assignment is. All that stuff done in the front of the classroom. So when it looks like Kate is spacing off, she's honestly just not comprehending the information given to her. Throw in low comprehension (especially from written language) and really low recall, learning is just hard for Kate.
Jane on the other hand has a few things going on, including the recent diagnosis of ADHD which is so intermingled with her learning disability, it's hard to figure out where one begins and the other ends. Jane also has low comprehension and low recall, although there's another curve ball in Jane's learning. Jane does better reading information but vocal information goes right over her head.
The girls testing were different, due to being in different schools and being different ages, so I don't know if Jane's low vocal comprehension is related to Kate's low "active learning". There's so much we don't know.
But for both girls, even with the stuff we don't know, the result is the same. There's a constant battle to keep teachers not only updated but accountable for following those IEPs. At the same time, there's the battle with the girls, to keep them trying and moving forward. I don't want either girl to get the idea that their disabilities is a pass from having to work in school. Quite the opposite, they have to work harder.
It's a struggle personally to know that genetically, I've passed this nonsense onto my girls. It's because I'm their mother every school day is such a struggle. That's when I have to turn to the Lord and remember that it wasn't my doing, it was his and he, in his infinite wisdom, has his reasons why. I hope my girls can learn strength, develop their faith, rely on their Father in Heaven as they plow forward with their particular challenges.
We all have challenges. The difference with the girls is that we can point a finger and say, look, this is yours. There are lessons to be learned and lets face it. When either of my daughters scores well on a test, I know it's because of their tenacity and they worked, I mean really worked to get that grade.
I hope to teach them that their struggles do not define them but if they allow it, those same struggles can shape them into incredible people.
Lets face it, no one knows their potential. Not even them.
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