But it does.
My absolutely stunning cousin recently was married and of course being separated from everyone, living across the country, my only glimpse is the album she posted on facebook.
I made my choices on where to live long ago and I know it's right. After all, living with my sweetheart, no matter what the distance from the family I knew growing up, could never be wrong. Really it's not the distance, or seeing cousins and even my brother at the festivities that tore a hole in my heart in this morning.
It was one particular picture. A joyful, lovely picture of the bride's father dancing with his sister and yet another reminder that my dad isn't here.
I'm always aware of what he's missed with my immediate family. Watching my children especially and not being able to share in the hundreds of little things they do every day is hard enough but it hit me on how much more he's missed.
Family has always been important to my dad and not only has he missed his own grandchildren but he's missed his siblings becoming grandparents themselves. He would have loved that. What a loss.
So the picture of his brother and sister dancing has left me feeling a little lost this am because I know my dad would have loved to have been there. He would have insisted on a dance with the bride, reminisced at years gone by, told jokes to all that listened and he would partied like only a Rush can.
That's not all that has me feeling off. It's like with dad not there, I feel like my connection to the cousins I enjoyed so much growing up is slipping away. I don't want that. At the same time, there's nothing I can do.
Just as we continue on, so does everyone else.
It's Deb from NSD...I feel for you. I keep imagining my mom and her older sister, playing pranks up in Heaven, probably on their parents, who have also passed on. Sometimes it feels like there is too much loss, but I guess we have to learn to trust our Heavenly Father and not mere mortals. Even if they were mainstays in our lives. HUGS!
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