Honesty

I'm not writing this down because I want to toot my own horn but because as a mother I worry about my children. I don't want my children to be honest because it's the easiest choice, or because their mother said so.

I want my children to be honest because I believe and have the experience to back it up, that being honest leads to greater happiness. What mother doesn't want happiness for her children?

We've had an incredible amount of problems with lying around here pretty much from every child except the ones with limited verbiage. Well ok, so they've lied too but they don't understand that it's wrong like the three olders do. The commonality between all the various incidents (and I won't rehash each individuals rap sheets, it won't do any good in the long run) is trying to avoid getting into trouble. There are also variations of gaining or scoring something that isn't rightfully ours and this die hard desire to get another sibling in more hot water then they've ever been in before.

Oh the love in our home.

Ok, I joke but on a serious note, it disturbs me to see how readily the truth is shoved aside in our home. I can witness a misdeed, be in the same room, and they KNOW, they KNOW that I'm in the room and still they'll try to lesson their actions.

We try to emphasize the rewards of telling the truth. We distinguish the greater punishment when needed and point out how the consequences of their actions are lessened when the truth is told (consequence equalling punishment here) yet the message is slow to sink in. It's frustrating because I cant' seem to get them to understand the rewards for honesty are far greater then they realize.

Which leads me to my story.

Two weeks ago my mother did me a favor and took Kate to gymnastics. Payment for the month of December was due the first class of the month and I asked mom to pay it for me, with the plan to pay her back the next time I saw her. Mom took her and called me after dropping her off to let me know that she hadn't paid, she said that she saw the book and Kate was marked as paid.

Weird.

I meant to follow up that week because I hadn't paid and I knew no one else had paid but I got busy with life in general. Good intentions, I'm full of good intentions but my days have a way of slipping through my fingers and tasks often get neglected until the last minute. Well last Thursday I received a call from the gymnastics teacher to ask who was picking up Kate.

Kent was late and by late I mean class ends at 5:00 and it was 5:02.

She mentioned that the recital needed to be paid for. I meant to go in on Friday but unexpected expected guests arrived. Yeah I know, that doesn't' make sense, but when you expect them over a week ago and they finally arrive, they really are unexpected expected guests. Anyway, Friday I didn't make it, but remembered this AM, I needed to go pay.

When I get in, I see the book, the recital, hall fee and December as mom stated were marked as paid.

All the class was marked as paid except for the spots right above Kate. I talked with the receptionist, let her know that no, there's no one that would pay for us and obviously it was mis marked. I then paid the $48 due for everything, recital, December and the hall.

It's the sort of thing that would have been easy to shrug my shoulders and allow and there is always the slight possibility someone else really meant to pay for Kate but I had set aside money for her recital and chances are far greater a human mistake was made. Someone would have had to double pay and that wouldn't have been right.

The rewards, what I want my children to internalize is the care free feeling I have in my soul from doing the right thing. See lying weighs you down. Makes the world heavy and cumbersome. The truth takes that weight away and sometimes it's really hard to tell the truth. There will be times when you feel like you'll die when you find yourself needing to tell the truth but once it's out there, healing takes place.

So for my children. Embrace honesty, let it be a part of your daily lives. You'll be happier, healthier and enjoy life far more then if it's not.