Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary. Actually, using the word "celebrated" is a bit generous. Our day consisted of Kent taking the girls to church, while I stayed home with the hacking brothers, after a whole week of one to three boys home from school, they really needed another day off.
Then there was several viewings of "Voyager" by Kent and the girls (daddy, daughter geek bonding). Boys on and off the computer and I cooked a whole lot of bacon for BLT's, around dinnertime.
I also made the the boys help me clean the front room. I told them that I was sick too, and if I could do it, they could do it as well.
So it wasn't a really romantic day for us. That's kind of how our luck has been going lately. About two months ago, my wonderful husband announced the first Monday of the month we were going to a local Bed and breakfast. This place has the most lovely themed rooms and I've wanted to go for years.
In 2000, Kent offered to take me, but I was nine months pregnant and declined. With lots of eye rolling.
Non stop sickness necessitated moving our night to the following Monday. Even more sickness led to canceling the following week. We will try again in January, after the non-stop blur of Christmas and birthdays. It's a teensy bit sad but really, the fact that my husband tried means so much to me. Points for effort!
Then there's the romance of gift giving. After my extreme and unreasonable reaction to a simple request to buy a specific tool sold at a store I despise, hubby bought it himself and gave it to me to wrap. I'm just grateful I don't have shop at the beloved tool store.
What does that say about me?
All this is secondary. Oh sure, it's nice to go places, it's nice to surprise your spouse but is that really romance?
I don't think it is. It's fun. It's exciting. But when I think of romance I think of the moments we have together. Grabbing a few minutes to just talk. My husband lightly stroking his hand across my shoulder as we discuss, anything and everything.
Marriage isn't easy. There is no "Happily Ever After". What's there, is a chance to grow together. To hopefully become better people together. Lets face it, no one is perfect and my hubs puts up with a lot from me. I'm quick to be annoyed, often sarcastic and dang, can I be moody. Yet we're still giving our overnight another shot in January.
Whether we make it our overnight together or not, I'll still turn off the computer when he enters the room, so we can talk.
When you enjoy talking to each other, when you savor your time together, then, THEN, the romance happens.
Happy Anniversary (and one day) to us!
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